seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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