This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Do vagina's smell?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Your penis caused this!
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