Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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