we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love having hate sex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
