I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
