i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
