You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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