Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize