so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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