i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
