Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
