Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
