So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just pee around me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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