is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize