She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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