Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
