I want to have your abortion
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
