So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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