i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
