Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
