i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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