No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I party with great urgency now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
