i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
