Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
