Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
