Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
