We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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