Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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