WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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