No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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