you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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