Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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