i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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