last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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