i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have already put on my inside pants.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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