Too much gin, very little bucket
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
