omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
