How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
