I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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