I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
