If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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