the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
