We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
