ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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