I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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