worst night to have a conscience
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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