That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
