Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize