i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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