Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize