White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
