It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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