Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
