ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
