Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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