well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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