he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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