I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
