This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize