oh god the rape fog is back!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize