lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
