Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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