I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize