I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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