I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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