dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
